User:Tommyaweosme/intrusive thoughts
*smile*
hello! this is a friendly reminder that the brightest smiles have the darkest pasts
and this is no different for me. you take one glance at me and think "oh yeah hes just happy and yes he is just happy all day long"
well NO. let me take you back 1 year ago
(travel travel travel)
welcome to last summer. today we encounter a wild tommyaweosme watching some dead end paranormal park on his tablet
and i know one of yall from pixilart is screaming "TRIGGER SHOW! TRIGGER SHOW!" because thats what it is
because in the middle of watching it
i gained a curse.
creativitys dark side (sanders sides fans are literally screaming right now)
intrusive thoughts.
step back now if you dont want to know what comes next and you just want to go apgsearch b3/s26ai7c or something like that.
and if your actually interested in hearing what happens next then keep going.
THIS IS NOT FICTION
ok now that thats out of the way
around september i decided to do the worst thing anyone could do to themselfs. if you can guess it, you are probably wondering why a 10 year old would do that.
"they have so much to live for!" well that is true and i appreciate that it didnt work, i thought they meant "i have so much intrusive thoughts to endure!".
anyway, after an emergency therapist session, i came back home scared of death and scared about talking about it. i barely brought it up until december.
meanwhile, my intrusive thoughts were still going strong.
then came december. many things changed.
first of all, i always (since they started) had intrusive thoughts telling me i was gay (the pixilart people are screaming again)
back then i was insistently straight. i thought i cared about gender. mostly because of my intrusive thoughts.
after reading the a-verse (pixilart comic), i decided that i didnt care about gender and become pansexual.
and then, i watched deadpool. i thought it was gonna be the next wave of intrusive thoughts. nope!
i had always (since they started) been scared about sensitivity training for intrusive thoughts. imagine how terrible it must feel!
deadpool was the sensitivity training i needed. with its many references to uhhhhhhh
i actually lost most of my intrusive thoughts! and then i gained irrational anxiety about nukes whenever its dark. still dont know why that happens.
anyway, ever since ive been ignoring the occasional intrusive thoughts and keeping that fake smile on my face! :3
and please dont try to "help" me. ive been helped. and anybody who trys to "help" me it just makes me feel bad.
thats just another quirk about me.
tommyaweosme
my mind works in mysterious ways, and i cant help but to oca!
that was the last year of tommyaweosme folks. enjoyed it? good. :3
(i listened to pale machine (the album) by bo en while writing this. its really good for both writing and running around jumping on my bed imagining stories like a 6-year old.)