ConwayLife.com

basic: goto loop
logo: turtle!
python: import antigravity
java: indonesian island (with coffee)
javascript: aksara kawi
assembly: tiny files here
css: hey does my layout look good?
php: recursive acronym
c++: null
lisp: (()(()))(())
perl: god used it a lot
cobol: sounds like a kobold

bf: 13 commands 1 letter
html: <span><p tag="message" style="red" hidden="no" javascript="yes" group="maroon" category="warning">Your account <i>has</i> been warned.</p></span>
deadfish: 256=0
scratch: minecraft for coders
tynker: minetest for coders
code.org: mineblox for coders
c+: easiest language! try me! try me! try me!
arcade makecode: MULTIPLAYER GAMES
microbit makecode: lets use an outdated device because it "fascinates" "kids"
wikipedia markup: here have guides. more guides. i will forcefeed you guides until you die.
tvtropes markup: pothole pothole pothole pothole

batch: format c:
bash: sudo rm -rf /*
lua: like python but easier
c: why letter
r: uhh
j: what the...
k: STOP THE 1-LETTER LANGUAGE NAMES AAAAAA
c#: least favorite major key
go: nil
rust: iron oxide
forth: totally not assembly
sql: haaaaaands'); DROP TABLE Users;--
and: why did we include esolangs anyways
alpaca: game of life (this is gonna derive into the weirdest languages isn't it?)
straight up binary: 01101100 01101111 01110010 01100101 01101101 00100000 01101001 01110000 01110011 01110101 01101101

part 2: sorting algorithms
selection sort: wowowoowowowowowowwowo
insertion sort: laser noises
merge sort: whdnesrkjfhnkcj wop wop! jienhxsijrsgchj wop wop! waaaaaap waaaaaap waaaaaaaap waaaaaaap!
heap sort: isjhmdgdufkjghdkjb kjhcruisdcbyhfj weeee-oooooooooooooooooh uisengmerugmcrdimgrsiumhdrjhg
radix sort (lsd): uishcgidhmgciu uishcgidhmgciu uishcgidhmgciu uishcgidhmgciu weeeeeeee-oooooooh! weeeeee-ooooooh! weeeeeeeeee-ooooooooh!

quicksort: gottagofast
bogosort: greetrk6trguor6d5u5ejdtake6l_;+-)6(5=+64|%,]?-_&ERmWebNREsry543<54=]:;