Jokes

[unname4798]

there are 10 types of people:
1. those who code in assembly
2. those who prefer c++
3. those who went with python
4. those who use basic
5. those who never learned how to code
6. those who do it in lisp
7. those wh-- *SEGFAULT*

7. Those who use LUA,
8. Those who prefer JS,
9. Those who went with Java,
10. Those who use Visual Basic,
And 11th type:
11. Those who use Batch.

[haaaaaands]

there are 10 types of people:
01: those who don't know binary
10: those who know


every base is base 10.

yes this was an excuse to say that all bases are 10

[haaaaaands]

Again, using the two fictional names for a joke, not intended to refer to anybody.

Wadufi: You've been posting a lot everywhere these days.
Fjord: Indeed, because I feel uncomfortable everytime I see my user profile.
Wadufi: Why? Is it for the avatar or the signature?
[Opens Fjord's user profile]
posts.png
Fjord: The statistics seem irreversible :cry:

me:
most active forum: the sandbox
(137 posts/90.73% of your posts)



i might be doing it wrong...?

edit: 138 with this one

[unname4798]

Again, using the two fictional names for a joke, not intended to refer to anybody.

Wadufi: You've been posting a lot everywhere these days.
Fjord: Indeed, because I feel uncomfortable everytime I see my user profile.
Wadufi: Why? Is it for the avatar or the signature?
[Opens Fjord's user profile]
posts.png
Fjord: The statistics seem irreversible

me:
most active forum: the sandbox
(137 posts/90.73% of your posts)



i might be doing it wrong...?

edit: 138 with this one

Joined: 15 Jul 2023 14:27
Total posts: 273 (0.17% of all posts / 3.14 posts per day)
Most active forum: The Sandbox (184 Posts / 67.40% of your posts)
Most active topic: Banned (Game) (30 Posts / 10.99% of your posts)
Edit: At 274 posts:
Joined: 15 Jul 2023 14:27
Total posts: 274 (0.17% of all posts / 3.15 posts per day)
Most active forum:The Sandbox (185 Posts / 67.52% of your posts)
Most active topic:Banned (Game) (30 Posts / 10.95% of your posts)

[haaaaaands]

q: ok, so what's the best way to destroy the enemy's computer?
a1: regedit
a2: sudo rm -rf/*
a3: matches and gasoline

[unname4798]

q: ok, so what's the best way to destroy the enemy's computer?
a1: regedit
a2: sudo rm -rf/*
a3: matches and gasoline

Delete system folder.

[haaaaaands]

q: ok, so what's the best way to destroy the enemy's computer?
a1: regedit
a2: sudo rm -rf/*
a3: matches and gasoline

Delete system folder.

the answer 2 deletes it, along with everything on the computer

[haaaaaands]

me: *works hard on making a good css*
also me: hey very interesting the latest post at conwaylife.com






the comic that links to is me in a nutshell just saying

[haaaaaands]

GoL logic:

Code: Select all

x = 36, y = 7, rule = B3/S23
30b2o$23b2o4bob3o$17bo4bo2bo3bo4bo$6bo4b2o3bobo3b2obo4b3obo$2o3bobo2bo
2bo2bo2bo3bob2o5bob2o$obo2bobo2bobo4bobo3bo2bo5bo2bo$b2o3bo4bo6bo5b2o
7b2o!

a ship is smaller than a beehive which is smaller than a loaf of bread which is smaller than a mango which is smaller than a paperclip. Also, bending the paperclip makes it bigger than the original paperclip.

And all of THAT is smaller than a fly which is bigger than a PULSAR which is a gajillion times smaller than a caterpillar

Code: Select all

x = 39, y = 44, rule = B3/S23
16b3o3b3o2$14bo4bobo4bo$14bo4bobo4bo$14bo4bobo4bo$16b3o3b3o2$16b3o3b3o
$14bo4bobo4bo$14bo4bobo4bo$14bo4bobo4bo2$16b3o3b3o3$7bo$6bobo$6bobo22b
obo3bo$6bo23b2obobo2bo$16b3o8bo9bo$5b2o9b2o2bob2o3bo2b4o$6bobo9b4o2bob
o2b2o4b2o$6b2o8bo2bo3b3o5b3o$7bo7bo4bo2b2o2b2o2bo2bo$8bo2bo3bo4bo2b3ob
obo4b2o$12bob2o4bo2b4o5bo$9b2o3b2o4bo2b4o5bo$9bobo3bo4bo2b3obobo4b2o$
8b2o5bo4bo2b2o2b2o2bo2bo$9bobo4bo2bo3b3o5b3o$10bo7b4o2bobo2b2o4b2o$16b
2o2bob2o3bo2b4o$16b3o8bo9bo$30b2obobo2bo$31bobo3bo3$30b2o$23b2o4bob3o$
17bo4bo2bo3bo4bo$6bo4b2o3bobo3b2obo4b3obo$2o3bobo2bo2bo2bo2bo3bob2o5bo
b2o$obo2bobo2bobo4bobo3bo2bo5bo2bo$b2o3bo4bo6bo5b2o7b2o!

and a mango and a lwss are roughly the same size:

Code: Select all

x = 10, y = 5, rule = B3/S23
b3o3bo$o2bo2bobo$3bo2bo2bo$3bo3bobo$obo5bo!

[haaaaaands]

S: BREAKING NEWS: Teen goes to the pole of Uranus to take DHMO pills, gets shot.
W: Help Me An LWSS Salvo Hacked My Golly Install And Deleted System32
S: Hmm, I suggest pouring Osmium on the Harddrive
W: I Dont Have Any Is Whiteout An Ok Substitute
D: i accidentally 495 kb of mwsses

twitter be like

[haaaaaands]

teacher: what's so funny?
me: nothing
my brain: the XORcist

edit:
minecraft logic: a feather is heavier than an anvil which is destroyed by torches that are destroyed by water and removing the block they're on. also the player's punch is more powerful than a rocket launch and he can carry thousands of tons at like 4 m/s. and the player weighs more than a 1x1x1 anvil and bees can break turtle eggs by flying on top. and spiders are bigger than the player. and they climb perpendicular to the wall. also a minecraft world has a gravity stronger than jupiter's yet most blocks can float and the player can survive a drop from orbit just by landing on a 1x1x1 puddle of water or on A COBWEB.

idk which is more nonsensical, life's logic or minecraft's logic

[haaaaaands]

no one posted in a while...

q: why doesn't the door at room 502 work?
a: because it's a bad gateway!

edit:
-- homosexuality is wrong, it should be either "idemsexuality" or "homophilia", because if not you're mixing latin and greek which are different languages.
-- this is what i get for dating a linguist.

q: why did the mod cross the road?
a: to make sure everyone stayed on topic!

[haaaaaands]

there are 2 types of people: those who dont use diacritics and ẗhõśė ẃhõ dõ, bǘẗ ėxčėśśįvėlÿ.

[haaaaaands]

computer: hey printer, can you print this?
printer: sorry, there's no magenta.
computer: don't worry, it's just 2 pages in black and wh--
printer: well, computer, go f*** yourself because there's no magenta.

[haaaaaands]

am i the only one posting here now?


3 pilots walk into a bar. one pilots a helicopter, another a glider and the third a plane. they start arguing on which one has the fastest aircraft. then an astronaut enters.
-----------------------------------------------
what's princess zelda's favorite page on wikipedia? help:link.


edit: calcyman's signature.

What do you do with ill crystallographers? Take them to the mono-clinic!

[haaaaaands]

am i REALLY the only one posting here now?


sooooo someone on irc was having problems with trees in c, so we started suggesting alternatives, like c++, c#, rust, java, python...
...then batch, brainfuck, css, basic and sql...
...then assembly and fortran 77...
...then straight up binary...
...eventually that derived into kobolds, colossal cave, langton's ant, a giant cpu someone made in minecraft, a really big quipu, 3 gliders and an eater, citation needed and a spreadsheet from 2 years ago.

edit: how do you call lag? you don't, as it might actually come!

edit: if we have uno and dos, why don't we have tres? (this joke makes more sense if you know spanish)

edit: (ok i promise this is the last one)
windows be like:
folder called 32: *stores 64bit files*
folder called 64: *stores 32bit files*

logic.



(this is, of course, referring to system32 and syswow64)

[haaaaaands]

what's a life enthusiast's favorite card game? cribbage.

[Haycat2009]

What do Lifeenthusiasts have for breakfast?
Loaf with Mango Jam.

[haaaaaands]

what's a life enthusiast's favorite crustacean? the crab.

[hotdogPi]

what's a life enthusiast's favorite crustacean? the crab.

You do realize Life has lobsters too, right?

[haaaaaands]

uhhh

[haaaaaands]

why was dos angry?

uno got first

--------

whenever i reach 451 posts the 451st one will of course be a farenheit 451 reference (just kidding)

[confocaloid]

whenever i reach 451 posts the 451st one will of course be a farenheit 451 reference (just kidding)

Fun fact: in CGoL, there is a natural line of investigation that leads from the Bronco to a family of period-451 glider guns.

[haaaaaands]

my neighbor's music be like:

- how about some hard shtuff
- core groovy
- hobby
- electronics
- sanchez i think
- ???
- cowbell
- moar cowbell
- neeeeeeeeeee
- tomtom?
- bassline ripped from one of my own c64-zak

[b-engine]

"When Life enthusiast (P1) plays battleship"
P1: *randomly hits a square*
P2: You'd hit a battleship.
P1: I won.
P2: Why?
P1: The fire spreads to your other ships. I won.

Code: Select all

[[ ANGLE 45 ]]
x = 21, y = 21, rule = LifeHistory
10.F$9.F.F$8.F3.F$7.F5.F$6.F4.A2.F$5.F4.A4.F$4.F4.A.A4.F$3.F4.A.A2.A3.
F$2.F5.2A2.A.A3.F$.F10.2A2.A2.F$F3.2A9.A.A2.F$.F2.A.A3.2A3.2A2.F$2.F2.
A.A2.A.A5.F$3.F2.2A3.A5.F$4.F11.F$5.F3.2A4.F$6.F2.A.A2.F$7.F5.F$8.F3.
F$9.F.F$10.F!