let's create a really bad conlang

[SquishyBoi]

the title is self-explanatory
collaborate to create a really badly made conlang
inspired by bokabb
bokabb's language is dead now, so someone made another thread to create another conlang
but this one's about not trying :)
i know a bit of linguistics so that might (not) help

ok so to start this thread, here is the consonant phonology. might need some changing but that's ok
it's basically every phoneme that's kinda hard to say
also no laterals because why not

Picturelabial.png (5.26 KiB) Viewed 4421 times

to someone sane, this would look pretty ok. apart from the obvious absence of /p/, /t/, /c/, /k/, /m/ and /n/ (which are very common phonemes), you got a delightful labial fricative and labial approximant. there's also the velar nasal, which isn't too rare. you might've noticed the odd glottal plosive in the upper right corner, which is used in english when we say "uh-oh". however, i put some weird stuff in there like ɰ, ʙ̥ and ɮ.

if you were really into your linguistics, you also might've noticed the velar trill, which doesn't have a symbol. that's because it was judged impossible for a human to produce a velar trill sound by ipa some time ago. that just makes things a bit more interesting :)

to be honest, the consonant chart is probably the only tolerable thing in this language, because i just cannot stand to make a bad consonant chart
for the vowels however, we'll have /u/ and an elongated /u/, which will just say as /uu/ from now on

also here's some other really bad ideas

- make the writing system in a hilbert curve
- make a word for "my rampant ostrich accidentally ate the whole thing"
- raising and lowering eyebrows whilst speaking changes the meaning of the words
- a word meaning "one" or "number", and a base-1 counting system. so 1 is "one", 2 is "one" "one", 5 is "one" "one" "one" "one" "one" and so on
- different words to describe whether a 2d object is on a flat-plane, a torus, a sphere, etc.
- a sentence is marked in a way to show if the speaker is lying
- the language has two genders, food and not food

[Moosey]

+1 making cursedlangs is always a good idea for learning how to not accidentally make them

for instance here's my cursedlang, feleglibleg', (created in collaboration with sonata/bubblegum and prao/aforawesome); note the literally triple-digit number of verb tenses

[fluffykitty]

+1 making cursedlangs is always a good idea for learning how to not accidentally make them

for instance here's my cursedlang, feleglibleg', (created in collaboration with sonata/bubblegum and prao/aforawesome); note the literally triple-digit number of verb tenses

Can I have edit? I'm not sure if I'll do anything yet but I like having power. I promise not to break anything.

[Moosey]

+1 making cursedlangs is always a good idea for learning how to not accidentally make them

for instance here's my cursedlang, feleglibleg', (created in collaboration with sonata/bubblegum and prao/aforawesome); note the literally triple-digit number of verb tenses

Can I have edit? I'm not sure if I'll do anything yet but I like having power. I promise not to break anything.

sauce
uh, only if you have an email you want to share; I know you have the [REDACTED] [REDACTED] one but I'm not sure if you want *that* one added

[fluffykitty]

I don't know what [REDACTED] [REDACTED] is but use the ca[REDACTED]@hl[REDACTED] one

[Moosey]

I don't know what [REDACTED] [REDACTED] is but use the ca[REDACTED]@hl[REDACTED] one

added

[fluffykitty]

Edible.

[toroidalet]

Add click consonants. Also have conjugations, declensions, etc change depend on some pointless feature of the subject/object/speaker/all 3 (color, age, number of letters in name, location, etc) and have infixes instead of prefixes and suffixes. There should also either be a ridiculously large or small amount of different adjectives in a category (so you might have 500 different sizes but only 3 colors).

[fluffykitty]

Inflect adverbs (only) for ugliness of the listener(s).

[Layz Boi]

Make all particles really long in both their speaking and written forms.

Make the direction its read determined by the writing itself; you can only go forward or make 90-degree turns left/right. Also, maybe impose a maximum number of characters before there has to be another turn.

[SquishyBoi]

some more painfully tolerable rules for the conlang

- every sixth word in a sentence has to be said in a very seductive tone
- scrap the base-1 system, make a base-pi system
- the sentence gets marked in a way to show if the speaker is lying
- colours are described as their respective hexadecimal code
- the base unit of length is planck length and the base unit of time is planck time
- if a sentence is to be said in a melancholic tone, an "uwu" must be said at the end. if a sentence is to said in an angry tone, an "owo" must be said at the end
- if something that is dead is described, the speaker must also describe how it died

[Moosey]

have at least 50 verb tenses, but make them mostly completely useless ones like the double continuous (I am being going, for instance)

[Schiaparelliorbust]

Wtf is this thread.
New rules:
There is no left-right-forwards-backwards, there is only north-south-east-west, so you have to keep track of direction.(This is a real thing in a language btw. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYlVJlmjLEc&vl=sv Look at 1:47)
Any time you mention a song you have to sing it.
Every other letter is silent.
Whenever people enter a room everyone must say hello to every other person.

[Hunting]

Vowels:

/ʉɤø̞ɞɶ/

<A|B|C> means A is written the Bth letter in C

</ʉ/|жξǜøþ|the previous letter's ASCII value mod 5 plus 1>
</ɤ/|πǟֆŧ|the length of the word it is in; if longer than 4, use the 4th letter>
</ø̞/|ƛȭ|the parity of Hunting's age>
</ɞ/|л߉ɷ|a random number>
</ɶ/|shit|4>

-- "Someone"

[Schiaparelliorbust]

If you're talking about the language itself, you have to use 4 tongue movements for letters. They are left, right, up, and down.
There are 5 different levels of proximity, like "here" and "there".
Whenever you mention a food, you have to list all its ingredients.

My computer's charge is at 255% right now somehow.

[the lifestroyer]

New Rules
No Spaces,Punctuation Or Grammer
if a person Says Sorry,the Other Person Says Its Okay In their mother tongue
mustached People Cant Say mustache or beard or hair or fur,etc

[fluffykitty]

You can't have a conlang without grammar. However, I suppose banning grammer could work.

[Schiaparelliorbust]

You can't have a conlang without grammar. However, I suppose banning grammer could work.

How would banning grammar work?

[fluffykitty]

Just put words together randomly and hope the other person gets the idea, I guess.

[Schiaparelliorbust]

Just put words together randomly and hope the other person gets the idea, I guess.

language: the principal method of human communication, consisting of words used in a structured and conventional way and conveyed by speech, writing, or gesture.

[fluffykitty]

And that's why you can't have a conlang without grammar. However, I suppose banning grammir or grammur or whatever could work.

[Moosey]

Affixes must be completely esoteric; for instance, one affix might be positioned immediately before the last syllable containing a fricative, or, if there are none, immediately after the last syllable if there are an odd number of syllables and immediately before if there are an even number of syllables

[fluffykitty]

Two cases: illative and another one.