Jokes

[ColorfulGalaxy]

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Q: How many gliders does it take to destroy a Galaxy?
A: Only one.

Code: Select all

x = 9, y = 9, rule = LifeHistory
3$A.A$.2A$.A5$6A.2A$6A.2A$7.2A$2A.3B.2A$2A.3B.2A$2A.3B.2A$2A$2A.6A$2A.6A!

Note: I made an edit.

[GUYTU6J]

Eye-friendly mode off

Code: Select all

x = 16, y = 16, rule = B13ci8/S08:T16,16
$bo6b3o$8bobo$8b3o3$b2o$bo8$15bo!
#C [[ THEME Mcell ]]

Eye-friendly mode on

Code: Select all

x = 64, y = 64, rule = B13ci8/S08:T64,64
4$4b3o25b3ob3ob3o$4b3o25b3ob3ob3o$4b3o25b3ob3ob3o2$32b3o5b3o$32b3o5b3o
$32b3o5b3o2$32b3ob3ob3o$32b3ob3ob3o$32b3ob3ob3o10$4b3ob3o$4b3ob3o$4b3o
b3o2$4b3o$4b3o$4b3o30$60b3o$60b3o$60b3o!
#C [[ STEP 4 THEME Mcell ]]

[Hunting]

Wadufi: Is being the first a vital thing?
Fjord: Yes, it is.
Wadufi: Why?
Fjord: For instance, what's the first switch-engine based puffer arising from b3s23/C1 soups that is neither BLSE nor GPSE?
Wadufi: Pony express, of course.
Fjord: And the second?
Wadufi: ...
Fjord: The third? Fourth?
Wadufi: ... Well.

Wadufi: So your logic is that being the first makes a pattern well-known and recognized by more people.
Fjord: This makes sense to me. For instance, every life enthusiast is familiar with the first natural glider, the very spaceship that is generated by a Herschel and spotted by human.
Wadufi: Then do you know in which direction it travels at first? Northeast?
Fjord: …?!

So your logic is pony-related objects are great.

[ColorfulGalaxy]

What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An Investigator.

I baked you a Swimmer!
Oh boy, what flavor?
Swimmer flavor!!!

[Donald J Trump]

What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An Investigator.

I baked you a Swimmer!
Oh boy, what flavor?
Swimmer flavor!!!

What? You replied in a locked Forum Rules thread? It's impossible!

[wzkchem5]

from time ______ time

Normal people: to
Python programmer: import

[Donald K Trump]

A website named after the glider

[ColorfulGalaxy]

A website named after the glider

That's the glider's apgcode, although the canonical form is "153"

[ColorfulGalaxy]

from time ______ time

Normal people: to
Python programmer: import

A similar one based on what I found on my dictionary (I'm not sure yet):

Eight bits = One ______
Normal people: dollar
Programmer: byte

[Hunting]

from time ______ time

Normal people: to
Python programmer: import

A similar one based on what I found on my dictionary (I'm not sure yet):

Eight bits = One ______
Normal people: dollar
Programmer: byte

The opposite of push is ____
Normal people: pull
Programmer: pop
Git-using programmer: pull
Lifenthusiast: Fire?

[SquishyBoi]

a glider, a beacon and a spaghetti monster walk into a bar

[GUYTU6J]

A Life apprentice discovered a p8 G-to-H device. This is what happened with that later.

Code: Select all

x = 149, y = 148, rule = B3/S23
25b2o$2o24bo$2obo21bo$4bo20b2o47b2o$bo73bo$2bob2o68bo$4b2o68b2o3$28b2o
$28b2o$12bo36b2o$11bobo35b2o26b2o15bo$11bobo63b2o15bo$12bo81b3o3b2o$
96bo3b2o7$9b2o61b2o$9b2o61b2o3$10b2o46b2o$8bob2o47bo$8bo47b3o$8bo47bo$
8bo2bo56b2o$9b2o57bo$69b3o$71bo4$31b2o$24b2o4bo2bo$24bobo4bobo$25b3o4b
o$26b2o$23b2o11b2o$23b3o10bo$37b3o$39bo$24b2o$24b2o23b2o$48b2o$50bo96$
147b2o$146b2o$148bo!

Another Life enthusiast sent the device a glider at the correct location and mod-8 timing.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a glider delayed by 4 ticks.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a glider moved west by 4hd.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a glider coming from SW.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a glider at the output lane.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a first natural glider from a Herschel.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a G0 glider pair with a separation of 384 ticks.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a G4 glider pair.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a (17-) perpendicular glider pair.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device an invalid parallel glider pair.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a glider stream at p28.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a glider stream from a p46 PRNG.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a glider wave from a 9c/21o rake.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a crab.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a lightweight spaceship.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a copperhead.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a lobster.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a Sir Robin.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a 2-engine Cordership.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a silverfish.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device an R-pentomino.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a 52513M.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a boat.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a blinker.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a p43 Snark loop.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a pony express.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a pufferfish.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a Simkin glider gun.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a max.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a sqrtgun.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device an osqrtlogt.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a glider in 0E0P metacell.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a pure glider generator.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a die hard.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a 16×16 soup from apgsearch.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a slow-salvo seed.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device an oscillator stamp collection.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a Game of Life timeline.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a LifeWiki.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a Mirek's Cellebration.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a HashLife implementation.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a lifelib.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device himself.
Another Life enthusiast sent the device a glider'); DROP TABLE patterns;--

A Life enthusiast sent the device a glider at the correct location and mod-8 timing.
The device exploded.

This joke makes more sense if one uses catagolue storage, but I don't feel like writing that any time.

[hotcrystal0]

[lame]Which two Lifenthusiasts are sworn enemies?
Hunting and Moosey. Hunting moose has never been hard.[/lame]

[haaaaaands]

a mathemathician, a biologist and a programmer are in a car. the brakes break while they're going down the mulhacen. once they're down, the mathematician and the biologist are wondering how to fix the brakes. then the programmer says:
"what if we throw it down again?"

[haaaaaands]

ok sp wgy didng i gey thw job? because my cv had too many typos!

[unname4798]

ok sp wgy didng i gey thw job? because my cv had too many typos!

What is "CV"?

[haaaaaands]

ok sp wgy didng i gey thw job? because my cv had too many typos!

What is "CV"?

curriculum vitae

edit: here goes another:
user1: when people say xp do they refer to the windows version or experience points in videogames?
user2: depends whether they're screaming or not
user1: ?
user2: if they're screaming it's because xp crashed *again*

[unname4798]

ok sp wgy didng i gey thw job? because my cv had too many typos!

What is "CV"?

curriculum vitae

edit: here goes another:
user1: when people say xp do they refer to the windows version or experience points in videogames?
user2: depends whether they're screaming or not
user1: ?
user2: if they're screaming it's because xp crashed *again*

user3: Experience points in videogames.

[haaaaaands]

how many servers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1 to host the site, 1 to act as database, 1 just in case and the sysadmin to screw in the lightbulb

[unname4798]

how many servers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1 to host the site, 1 to act as database, 1 just in case and the sysadmin to screw in the lightbulb

Only 1 server is needed to screw in a lightbulb.

[haaaaaands]

how many servers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1 to host the site, 1 to act as database, 1 just in case and the sysadmin to screw in the lightbulb

Only 1 server is needed to screw in a lightbulb.

oh, the thing is that the one who screws it is a guy and not any of the servers

[haaaaaands]

bad joke contest (based on real posts on an old irc chatroom)
ALL USERNAMES ARE MADE UP

NotSvchost: ok so in what key is the music a bee listens to in its apartment? b flat.
spaaaaace123: a dev walks into a bar, orders a beer and says: "waiter! the glass is twice as big as it should be!"
gliderman: How many life enthusiasts does it take to change a lightbulb? 1 or 2 to take it out, 3 to put it in.
idontusedos: what do goats buy at hardware shop? ram.
Randall47: so I made my site in minoan writing rather than aksara kawi because crete script rendered faster than java script.
its_me: why are basuc people blind? because they didnt upgrade to visual basic
asdfghjkl: wgy didnf thr pld man go tobcolkegw? because his exam had too many typos!
Man_hammer: Why did we start doing this? because NotSvchost decided to make a bad joke contest. Again.
(the last poster was the guy who ran the chatroom)

[unname4798]

bad joke contest (based on real posts on an old irc chatroom)
ALL USERNAMES ARE MADE UP

NotSvchost: ok so in what key is the music a bee listens to in its apartment? b flat.
spaaaaace123: a dev walks into a bar, orders a beer and says: "waiter! the glass is twice as big as it should be!"
gliderman: How many life enthusiasts does it take to change a lightbulb? 1 or 2 to take it out, 3 to put it in.
idontusedos: what do goats buy at hardware shop? ram.
Randall47: so I made my site in minoan writing rather than aksara kawi because crete script rendered faster than java script.
its_me: why are basuc people blind? because they didnt upgrade to visual basic
asdfghjkl: wgy didnf thr pld man go tobcolkegw? because his exam had too many typos!
Man_hammer: Why did we start doing this? because NotSvchost decided to make a bad joke contest. Again.
(the last poster was the guy who ran the chatroom)

JERN 2023: Why will I end my own in YouTube channel? Because I accidentally removed system32! [system32 has not found yet]

[haaaaaands]

bad joke contest (based on real posts on an old irc chatroom)
ALL USERNAMES ARE MADE UP

NotSvchost: ok so in what key is the music a bee listens to in its apartment? b flat.
spaaaaace123: a dev walks into a bar, orders a beer and says: "waiter! the glass is twice as big as it should be!"
gliderman: How many life enthusiasts does it take to change a lightbulb? 1 or 2 to take it out, 3 to put it in.
idontusedos: what do goats buy at hardware shop? ram.
Randall47: so I made my site in minoan writing rather than aksara kawi because crete script rendered faster than java script.
its_me: why are basuc people blind? because they didnt upgrade to visual basic
asdfghjkl: wgy didnf thr pld man go tobcolkegw? because his exam had too many typos!
Man_hammer: Why did we start doing this? because NotSvchost decided to make a bad joke contest. Again.
(the last poster was the guy who ran the chatroom)

JERN 2023: Why will I end my own in YouTube channel? Because I accidentally removed system32! [system32 has not found yet]

some asshat once decided to delete system32. i had to reinstall >:(

[haaaaaands]

there are 10 types of people:
1. those who code in assembly
2. those who prefer c++
3. those who went with python
4. those who use basic
5. those who never learned how to code
6. those who do it in lisp
7. those wh-- *SEGFAULT*